Favorite Reporter

Favorite Reporter

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

I want a Schticky! (and other random observations from the Scotties)

Some random observations from the Scotties from a guy on paternity leave who was watching TV while simultaneously changing diapers (shitballs!), having a tea party and playing attic baseball:
- Heather Nedohin is certainly entertaining to watch. It’s nice to see a little passion on the ice for a change. After watching Robo-Stoughton in men’s, and the ever-demure Kelly Scott, it surely adds a bit of spice for the TV viewer to see someone as expressive as Nedohin as our National champion.
- For my money, Jenny Jones is still the best women’s curling team on the planet, despite their 3rd place finish. They just need to find a way to get Kaitlyn Lawes shooting as well on the Scotties final weekend as she does every other day of the year. You can’t win a National title if your 3rd is not making shots in big games.
- A great effort from the Quebec side. Marie-France seems to have put together a strong team that she can build on for the next few years. While Marie-France and Brenda have been to the Scotties a bunch of times, this is a new team, and 4th place is an exceptional result. They finished ahead of a lot of big names, including defending champ Amber Holland. Let’s hope they stick together.
- Speaking of sticking... I want a Schticky. I want the Big Schticky. I want the little Schticky too. I need to deal with that shedding pussy. Seriously – this Vince guy is a genius. He has figured out that if you make a commercial entertaining – he can get 10 views on-line for every paid commercial he puts on during the Scotties. Genius. In case you don’t know what I am talking about, here is the link to the Schticky ad on Youtube - genius.  The Schticky (youtube)
- The often maligned bronze-medal game will once again result is calls for its removal. Jennifer Jones looked thoroughly unimpressed at having to play for 3rd place Sunday morning. After winning – I think I actually saw her shrug her shoulders and sigh. There was no jumping up and down or rejoicing. Only Marie-France and team looked like they wanted to be there. It was a shame they could not finish that one off.
- 2 commercials I always see during curling that need to be retired - now:
1.       AMJ Campbell van lines – where 2 guys move a TV from the 1980s that magically keeps showing a much younger Russ Howard curling at a skins game while the movers carry it around. Sad fact - if you still own an old TV that requires two guys to carry it around – you probably can’t afford to hire professional movers. I think this commercial is at least 10 years old - and it was not good then. 
2.       Jennifer Jones forgetting her damn Scotties tissues and sliding across the store to get a box. I find myself hoping for the mannish looking lady in the aisle to just once ram Jones with her shopping cart as she slides by and then say “Clean-up in aisle 2”.
- Russ Howard is the best curling commentator of all time.
- Nobody really talked about this, but WTF?:  After Nedohin thought she had missed the draw to win the semi-final against Jones – she immediately went and took off her shoes before the measure! What!?! Who does that?   Who takes their shoes off before shaking hands with the other team? I would say it was classless, but I think it was more a question of clueless. I assume TSN did not have a live feed to her microphone during the measure – or the Scotties would have to be rated NC-17.
- Speaking of Nedohin and profanity, what exactly did Nedohin mean when she was caught uttering “Shitballs” after missing a draw earlier in the week? Was she referring to spherically-shaped excrement, or did she in fact utter two swear words: shit and balls. Neither one really makes sense to me - it seemed like a rather random piece of scatological profanity.  Maybe she is plugging for a future sponsorship from Cottonelle Toilet Paper. “Trouble with Shitballs? Use Cottonelle!”  
- Not related to curling: If Jesus Christ were to sing the US National anthem as a duet with the prophet Mohammed, with Fidel Castro, Maurice Richard and the Queen of England on back-up vocals at the next Habs game, it would get less media coverage than the NHL trade deadline does on TSN. They have 789 analysts talking about trades that are not going to happen.  I am a hockey fan- but I do not give a shit that Nashville is looking for a 3rd line center. Anybody who complains about TSN having too much curling coverage should be tied to a chair Clockwork-Orange style and forced to watch the panel talk about the top 50 most likely to be traded players. Just sayin....

Brier starts this weekend - will be back to discuss later this week.

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